My Story... (Chapter 2) originally posted Sunday, August 20, 2006

He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on... He who cannot move on cannot live on...



YOU CAN ONLY TRULY LOVE...

IF YOU CANNOT EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST...

LOVE ANYONE ELSE...



When my life didn't move on i saw no more reason to live on. In spite of my efforts to atone for the sins that i had done i was still in darkness, after losing the light which i had been longing for i had lost all my happiness with it. I tried to give what light remained in me to help strengthen the light once again but... losing all light which gave me happiness it was now harder to rest in peace. I had already died but why is it that i still feel pain. But even though i was in pain at least she was now happier than when we were together... That's all what mattered to me... When a problem arose within my mind she used to comfort me but now that it was gone i doubted myself a lot... And i still do as of now. When I tried to get on my feet i was glad that i couldn't, it would have been useless to move on since i didn't even want to live on. What irony it is for a person like me to even try to live again when all i want is to die. We all know that when a person is dead it cannot be brought back to life and i was glad that i couldn't. As time passed by my body eventually became weaker and weaker until i couldn't even cry... Now, not a single tear may drop from my eyes, no cries of sorrow to let the pain in my chest out... I had reached the state in which i had forgotten how to be sad and how much i had suffered because of it. And at the days end the sun would always set with my eyes glued upon the horizon in blank content.

-frozen heartbeat

My Story... (Chapter 1) originally posted Friday, July 28, 2006

He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move... He who has no faith in himself must not hold onto others to move...



DEATH CAN ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU STILL LIVE...


THAT IS WHY I CAN'T DIE ANYMORE...


EVEN IF I WANT TO RIGHT NOW...


I started my journey looking for a bright light long ago. The bright light which i had dreamt of for so long had a simple power... It could make me smile for no reason. The days seemed to pass quicker with it with me. The day would always end well for me because i knew that a bright light would always be there the next day. I was wrong. The bright light had only blinded me, i didn't fulfill the task which was the reason of my search for it. I had been looking for it for so long that i had forgotten that i was looking for it to help it. Instead i gave it another problem... I had now realized that only it had the right to be happy. I was not blessed with the right to be as happy as most people. As a day passed i noticed that her power had weakened because i was there... It can now only make me smile but... it could not smile at the same time. I could not bear the thought that i could smile because of her but she cannot smile because of me. I guess some dreams aren't meant to be reached. I was just too stupid to realize that earlier... Her smile was the light that made me smile. I am truly a horrible person. I had taken away its happiness for my own and in the end i had been like the devil, smiling at people's pain. Never again do I want to be like that. I would rather stay in pain than cause others pain. My dream was not a dream after all... It was a nightmare which had clouded my mind and had driven me to cause pain. I cannot redeem myself so i just stopped living. If i did not live, i wouldn't be able to cause pain and at the same time i would not feel pain... For me the definition of happiness is not the presence of good... It is the absence of evil... These are not important right now. I have died and will never get the chance to be evil again yet why am i sad? Is it because i cannot do good anymore or is it because deep within me the evil still lives and is directing my own anger at me... One can never really know what awaits us. The sheer fact that you know the future will surely change it. This is the same for me. I'm looking for my destiny so that i may change it.

-frozen heartbeat

Ahaha...

Yung next post galing sa lumang blog... Orig yan dahil ako gumawa niyan XD

Red Eyes...

Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important... Death is what makes life so important...

Scary... 4th day na today na red eyes ko. Nakakatakot na kasi parang lalong nagiging red as time passes. Anyway... Ang boring sa bahay noh. Parang mamamatay nalang ako bigla. La lang... Nakakatamad eh... By the way... Ok na yung mga kaibigan ko XD... Isipin niyo toh minsan... Kung ikaw mabait dapat ba sabihin mo sa iba na mabait ka or wag mo sabihin? La lang... Kasi diba pag sabihin mo nagyayabang ka na. Kung di mo naman sabihin aka di ka paniwalaan. Ahaha...Yun lang...

Intrams still hurt :(

What you are to me, I am to you... What you are to me, I am to you... What you are to me, I am to you... What you are to me, I am to you... What you are to me, I am to you...
Grabe... Hanggang ngayon masakit parin yung ankle at legs ko kakasoccer sa intrams... Di parin nawawala... Sayang naman... Di ko nagawa yung year-end goal ko... Yun ay maka goal EVERY game na malalaro ko sa intrams... Dapat naka score talaga ako laban sa orange para di pa kami knockout nung last day... Sabi nung mga kakilala ko na taga orange team na dapat daw kami talaga yung pasok pero may iniba daw kaya kami yung instant knockout... Sayang talaga... Next year lalo ko pang pagbubutihan yung soccer para naman maka goal na ako every game XD... Pray for my injured friends which are currently in need of medical attention... Pangalan nila ay ang left and right leg ko XD...

Kung bakit broken bridges...

What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow... What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow... What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow... What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow... What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow... What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow... What you do today is what will decide what you do tomorrow...

Kaya broken bridges kasi meron ako dati friend... Close kami... Dati nga lang... Sinabi niya sakin dati nung gusto ko nang lumayo nalang sakanya kasi nakakaabala lang ako na wag daw ako lumayo... Gusto niya daw gawan ng bridge yung gap between us... Di naman ako maka-ayaw kaya yun gawa kami... Worked out pretty well nung una pero as time passed by nasira din yung bridge... Ako din sumira in the end... Kasalanan ko kung bakit nasira at ngayon pinagsisisihan ko na... Alam ko naman na halos imposible na na gumawa ako ulit... Kaya kung nabasa mo toh at alam mo na ikaw eto... Just wanna say sorry... Anyway... YUn yung dahilan kung Bakit Broken Bridges yung blog name nito... Wala lang yung 357 XD